Children: Tantrums + Boundaries

It isn’t easy when a baby becomes a walking, part talking, unpredictable ball of energy. Being a present parent through the ride is hard and so many questions can arise on the journey: how do I respond without snapping? Should I punish when they act out? Will giving them what they want help to prevent a meltdown? I address these concerns and much more in this week’s blog post:

Saying "no" with Kindness + Confidence

When folks begin to identify and understand their needs, they can then work towards communicating them to others. One of the first boundaries to embrace is practicing how and when to say “no.” Here it can become difficult as we are tempted to pick up old armor like people pleasing, perfectionism, and wanting to fit in at any cost. However in order to ensure your continued healing, learning to say “no” with confidence and kindness is key. Here I share 3 quick tips in setting limits:

Parenting Reads

I have personally found a few books in particular to be extremely helpful in my own journey as a mother. Parenthood can be one of the most overwhelming, confusing, trigger- inducing experiences. Reading allows us the opportunity to gather information that we can apply into our own families, reflect on the behaviors or patterns we want to release, and step into the caretaker we were destined to be. I believe that doing this healing work will bring joy back to your family, ignite confidence in your leadership, and make sense of the confusion you carry. I hope you continue to heal so that your children won’t have to. In no particular order, here are my favorite parenting reads that will help you do just that.

Safe People

We are hard wired for connection. But what happens when those you are in relationship leave you feeling confused, discouraged and grabbing for your old armor? In this post I will share with you why safety in relationships is so important, the red flags to spot, and a self inventory list that you can use to assess your current traits so that you can continue growing + authentically showing up as a safe person for those you love.

Boundaries for the Beginner

I get asked a lot of questions on boundaries. “What’s the difference between being codependent and truly caring? How do I attract more people who respect my needs? When will I begin to trust my intuition? I dive into these and more to get you started on your boundary work.

For the recovering "people pleasers"

Do you struggle with the disease to please? What about resentments building up because others around you just won’t do the work? Maybe you feel guilty that you are leaving loved ones behind on your healing journey? You aren’t alone. Recently I went LIVE on Instagram to talk all about this, and the powerful conversation was too amazing not to recap.

My Personal Anxiety Remedies

I have always struggled with anxiety. I initially found relief through sobriety, and continue to maintain relief through my healing journey. Gratefully, I have tools today that I can turn to that I want to share with you. I keep them handy and force myself to use them even when I am not anxious. They are now apart of my healing routine.

The "Mother Wound"

The relationship with your mother is often the first. It sets the tone for how you think, communicate and interact with yourself and the world around you. A mother’s role is to nurture, protect, empower and ultimately set free her child. What happens then if one of those needs isn’t fulfilled? Enter— the Mother Wound.

My Favorite Habit Hack

Habits play a huge part in healing. Old patterns and behaviors can hold you back from showing up as your best self, without you even knowing it. Just the thought of breaking old habits can feel daunting, discouraging and overwhelming, forcing some people to quit before they even begin. Today, I share with you some basic tools to rewire your brain and how doing so will reshape your future.

Inner Child Work- Where do you start?

“What are wounds? How do I know where to start? And all this inner child work sounds really kooky.” I get it. I remember when I first heard the terms “re-parent” and inner child,I laughed out loud. The thought of a little girl living inside of me sounded ridiculous. But once I started to tune into her, to allow her time and space to open up, my healing TOOK OFF. Interested in learning more? Continue reading below…

Why I started this journey...

I have made so many new connections, (even as far as the Netherlands!) recently. It is probably my favorite aspect of social media. Reading your comments and stories, witnessing you discover areas that need love and honoring, and supporting you on your journey to healing. I thank you for allowing me to be a part of such an incredibly authentic, vulnerable process. I believe to my core that we can only truly heal together. With that, I felt inclined to share with you why I started this work 5 years ago. If you would like to read more, click the link below.

Journal to Heal

Journaling is more than just writing out thoughts and ideas. The practice of writing can literally change your life. Research shows that writing things down is a powerful tool to rewire your brain. Problem here is, most of us don’t take the time to write, and if we do, we don’t stay consistent enough to allow this practice to become second nature.

Breaking Free From Old Patterns

Your choices and actions today are highly rooted in your childhood. Adults in your life directly shaped the adult you have become. But what do you do if the patterns of behavior, the ones you learned to survive as a child, are no longer needed? How do you break free? 

I’m not a “mean mom,” just a tired one.

I recently attended a holiday party at a girlfriend’s. It was a moms night out that I really was looking forward to. These days, it takes a lot of energy to tuck the kids in, get myself out of yoga pants, and drive after dark. 

When I arrived I was surprised to not know any of the other women aside from the hostess. Other mommas were gathered at tables already engaged in conversation. I immediately felt myself tense up. I began to think: I should have stayed home.  I feel out of place.  And I’m too tired to make the effort to get to know anyone new.  

The Sober Truth About Sobriety

This time last year I realized something. I was condemning myself for not doing all the things I thought I was suppose to do to stay sober. I wasn’t reading sober literature. I wasn’t attending meetings. I wasn’t sponsoring other alcoholics. And then it happened— while I no longer feared losing my sobriety, I feared what I was taught in AA, that I would lose the life I had worked so hard to create. I began feeling not good enough. I felt like I was failing. Not measuring up. Not checking off all those boxes. Was I a sober fraud?

Love Detours

I had a friend call last week and share with me her recent heartache. She is going through a breakup, has to find a new job, home and start over.  "I want to be like you. You radiate confidence. You walk into a room and seem to have it all together. How do you do it?” she said. I suppose it's easy to think that way, after all I am happily married, have two healthy children, a growing career and am grateful to be building a new home. But I quickly chuckled and reminded her that I rarely "have it together," despite how it may seem. I then went into detail about the brokenness of my past and the time that I too, had my heart broken. 

What I've learned after 1 year on Instagram

I just celebrated 1 year on Instagram. One year since I decided to lean into an unknown space, take a chance on myself and my work, and hit "publish" on my first post. It was a quote by Maya Angelou that reads "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you,” which is the “why” of why I started an IG page. It has been a mountain of learning; about myself, my balance and boundaries, and it’s been a gift of finding supportive folks to connect and work alongside.
Here are a few things I have learned along this crazy journey that I wish I would have known from the start:

5 Ways to Spice Things Up

It hit me last night, as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. My biggest enemy is... COMPLACENCY. So what's the big deal you ask? There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling grounded and rooted in a routine, secure in a relationship or job, and stable in the season you are in personally or professionally. However I have found that the threat of complacency often masks itself as these same feelings of peace and comfort. The difference being, complacency tends to (over time) stir up feelings of unhappiness and discouragement, often leaving you confused as to what the culprit is, and completely deflated in the process. These 5 tips will help you combat that complacency and keep you moving forward in all areas of your life

The "Clingy" Moments of Motherhood

It is really difficult to always like doing something that is exhausting, yet humbling. Motherhood is like working out at the gym; the getting dressed is hard. The getting in the car is hard. The walking into the gym is hard. The working out is really hard. But THEN once it's over, you feel SO good! Same with motherhood. The days are long, and hard, and once they are over- it feels like a damn good workout finished. A stretch of character. An accomplishment. A step of growth.