Breaking Free From Old Patterns

Breaking Free From Old Patterns

Your choices and actions today are highly rooted in your childhood. Adults in your life directly shaped the adult you have become. But what do you do if the patterns of behavior, the ones you learned to survive as a child, are no longer needed? How do you break free? 


Perhaps you grew up in an environment that nurtured chaos, blurred boundaries, neglect/abuse, and secrets. As an adult, this reveals itself through lack of self trust, repetitive entanglement in unhealthy relationships, and feelings of anger and disappointment because of the confusion. Here it is common to feel stuck. When you recognize and validate the experiences you had as a child, you can begin the first steps to free yourself from them. 


Once you acknowledge the childhood you had, you can begin to grieve the one you didn’t. You may have been told to stop being so sensitive. Perhaps you heard that family sticks together and covers for each other, even if it hurts. Today, you can choose a different way. You can embrace all facets of who you are, without guilt. You can honor your truth and your needs. You can begin to parent the inner child that yearns for safety, love and connection. 



Part of healing is acknowledging the inner child who was ignored, abused or neglect. Tuning into the inner child sounds like:  

“What do I really need right now?”  

“It’s okay to say no.” 

“I have permission to care for myself.”  

“I am safe and loved.”

“What am I really feeling beneath the anger?” 

Honoring your inner child is about validating your emotions and removing punishments. It’s about observing the inner critic who questions your worth. It’s about playing a new mental tape, and taking back your happiness and peace- guilt free. It’s about caring for yourself in ways you had always wished others had. Taking a few minutes each day to check in with your inner child, changes everything

Healing is a process of unlearning and relearning. It takes observation, patience, and practice. Your responses to your childhood environment weren’t created over night, and the same is true for the new ones you are working to incorporate now. Give yourself grace. 

Not everyone will understand your journey, and that’s okay. Continue to step out in courage, and you’ll find that many new and supportive people are out there waiting for you along the way. 


Journal to Heal

Journal to Heal

I’m not a “mean mom,” just a tired one.

I’m not a “mean mom,” just a tired one.