As a new mom last year, I couldn't get over the amount of times people would say, "oh just you wait." It was as if I should brace for impact, expect for it to get worse (if possible?), and hold on for dear life. Imagine feeling as if doomsday was lurking just around the corner, and I didn't have a shot in hell at out running it.
Conversations would sound a bit like this:
"How's pregnancy going?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! Enjoy that alone time! Before you know it you'll have your hands full!"
"How was labor?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! You'll have a million diapers to change and never sleep sound again!"
"How's nursing going?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! You'll be cracked and bleeding in no time!"
"How's the new baby sleeping?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! They'll start teething soon and that schedule will be a hot mess!"
"How's the crawling going?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! They'll be walking and climbing all over the place soon and you'll never sit again!"
"How's planning for number two going? (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! You'll have two in diapers! yikes!"
"How's toddler life going?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! They'll be 18 and out the door before you know it, enjoy it now while they're still little!"
"How's your teenager doing?" (Insert response). "OH JUST YOU WAIT! Soon they won't want to hang with you at all!"
Ok... GOT IT.
I get you're trying to "help" or "warn" us moms. We know you have experienced it, and yes, I am sure you are right about most of it. But must we CONSTANTLY be reminded of the tough stuff? Heck, we are reminded EVERYDAY simply by waking up. Reminded everyday by saggy stretch marks, dirty diapers, cracked and sore nipples, teething episodes, crawling, climbing and crying toddlers. We are reminded by homework assignments, college applications, and sassy teenagers with driving permits. We are living and breathing this mess, and navigating through it the best we know how. No need to twist the knife people.
I would imagine most mothers would agree with me on this one. And to be quite frank, sometimes I don't need to hear about what lies ahead. If I do, I'll ask. My brain is simply trying to get through TODAY, alive.
So maybe next time you see a mom, and you go to say those dreadful "oh just you wait" words, perhaps end with one of the following suggestions instead:
"OH JUST YOU WAIT for...
the "I wuv you's,"
the snuggles and kisses,
the deep belly giggles and bubble baths,
the salty toes and sun kissed cheeks,
the chubby grins and bed time stories,
the "thank yous for all you've sacrificed," and
the "I am who I am today because of you mom" moments,
because THOSE are the encouraging reminders moms need to hear more than anything.